Well that was a year to try and forget…. Will I? I doubt it in many ways, there’s so much to unpack inside my head I doubt I’ll ever start and ever get the chance to even see someone who can help me the way things are right now. I know at least four people … Continue reading
Category Archives: Health
Death raises it’s head and I mourn again….
I’ve lost a friend, Someone I was hoping to make a deeper connection to after an absence of years has passed away. I brought her and her husband together with my ex partner, we were all friends, we had good times and a decent laugh at the world. I’m dying…. It’s obvious to the medical … Continue reading
Truth hurts, but not me – YOU
It’s been a while hasn’t it? Well life moves on and I’m feeling the whole of my life and it sucks, it sucks huge big vomit inducing clumps of pain and emotional scarring so bad you want to peel off your soul and scrub it clean. Knowing it will never come clean again, because what … Continue reading
When it all begins to sink in
People said this would happen…. That the whole mess of what I’ve been through would finally begin to open up when I was settled and beginning to come round to life again. Well it has….. An let me tell you, that it sucks big time, I mean seeing everything through the unfiltered lens of someone … Continue reading
Recovery – a long slow push up off the anvil.
It’s been a while hasn’t it? Lockdown, depression, mind running in circles, trying to keep myself occupied to actually hear myself think…. Yeah it’s been a long slow three months, yeah three months, that’s how long my lockdown has been, three months in the same place and I can finally get out of the place … Continue reading
18+ Trigger warning – Abuse
This is going to be hard to write…. But I have to because I’m no longer going to be burdened with the labels and shame I’ve had to endure for over twenty five years….. I’m a sexual abuse survivor, when it first happened to me I was 14 scared of being dumped again into care … Continue reading
Anger just doesn’t cover it….
I know my Shadow, that bit of you that sits there whispering in your ear to do the worst things you can think of to someone…. The pen you have in your fingers, if you just hold it like this…..you can push it straight into the artery in the neck when they turn their head! … Continue reading
Time for the truth
I’ve kept my silence, kept my worth, kept my mind together doing the only thing I know how to, being still, staying small, freezing because the abuser is still there, waiting, watching for your reaction, to see what you will do next. Many people in my world think that this is going to blow over, … Continue reading
Valentines and all the lies
Now I know some of you have good memories of Valentines day and the love of your lives, giving you something special and completely you, knowing who you are and what you are. We never did Valentines, because as we said if you can’t show you love the person every single day then why is … Continue reading
When the world you knew collapses
Hello again, yes I know it’s been a while since I posted anything on here of real relevance but this I think will make up for the lack of content recently. Life has turned for me and the long time relationship I had is now defunked, gone, lost to the winds and destroyed beyond all … Continue reading
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