Hello again, yes I know it’s been a while since I posted anything on here of real relevance but this I think will make up for the lack of content recently.
Life has turned for me and the long time relationship I had is now defunked, gone, lost to the winds and destroyed beyond all repair.
How did it start? Well being hospitalised with an infection that was killing me and the after effects of it. You see I thought it was a bout of food poisoning, which happens from time to time with me and usually clears quite easily. Thing was this went into shakes and temperature spikes. After feeling better I went into A&E and went into acute care department, temperature of over 40 degrees and still climbing, they got it down eventually and then my blood pressure refused to rise.
I was dying.
Simple as, I had two infections running rampant in my system, one viral and picked up from the environment, the other self grown and bacterial.
My own bacterial infection turned to Sepsis and went system wide, I was on two separate antibiotics both trying to fight the infections running through my bloodstream.
Now as all of this is happening to me, my partner has basically collapsed in on himself and cannot cope with the illness that has just struck me down from nowhere.
I have cancer, I have advanced Liver disease, I’m anemic, I have digestion and stomach issues, I have fibro, I have diabetes, I’m a walking collection of illness that seems to be functioning but we don’t know how.
He said he would be able to cope with me, with all of the problems that could and would come along as I got sicker. This proved to be untrue and now I’m in a situation where I’m facing everything alone.
I’ve moved out, moved away for a while, recovering what strength I have left because there isn’t much, the illness took a hell of a lot out of me and broke whatever mental strength I had left.
This ended up with me being assessed by the psychiatric service at the hospital who when they heard what my life was like, they acted immediately and a safeguarding was put into place for me.
Coersion is an awful thing to do to someone, to control someone you love to the point where you no longer see the person you were and are only what the other wants to see.
It’s going to take time to come to terms with but at least I’m no longer under the influence of someone who said they loved me only to leave me abandoned in a hospital bed with nothing but myself. Thirty years can grow love but it can also grow contempt and indifference, hiding as care.
Life has changed again as it should and I did ask for help to change things, just didn’t know it would take me nearly dying to do so.
Onwards an upwards, a new place to live, new things to do and a life that is finally my own. I may be dying but I’m going to live each day the best I can!
Wish me luck!
ghosthare22 